Monday, February 25, 2008

When 2 worlds collide

It happened to me yesterday. My two worlds collided; my reality and my dream escape. It made me uncomfortable. I tried to play it cool, but I'm afraid it showed. Today during our long drive home I had more than a minute or two to think it over. It's not a complete thought yet, so bear with me, you may be hearing this all more than once.

In a perfect world there wouldn't be this strained dichotomy. In my perfect world fiction would become fact and my reality a mere memory. Better yet, reality would be erased from even the deepest recesses of my mind. In my perfect world there would be plenty of cuddles, lots of words, and an assurance of love. At least that's what I once thought. Today a new thought sprung into my conscience. If I really had that which I so long for, would it really turn out to be so perfect? Would I appreciate it? Is it better left as a dream?

A few weeks ago someone spoke of a love so moving that they were satisfied just knowing it happened once. I half heartedly agreed thinking that I would rather have it in the here and now rather than as a once upon a time story. It has been at the back of my thoughts, not fully emerging into a full thought until today. I too may be content to live with it as that sweet dream that visits me during the night hours rather being faced with it in the present and find it to be a sham. When it lives only within my dreams, it pierces only me.