Friday, January 11, 2008

To quote Sheryl Crow

"A change will do you good."

Ain't that the truth? I've made some tough decisions within the past 2 weeks. For a long time it was a lingering thought that I didn't know how to proceed with, but slowly it started to get clearer. Then 2 weeks ago, in the middle of the Sunday sermon no less, it became very clear. I felt as though a weight lifted off my shoulders and I had a new strength I've not felt before. It doesn't make what I have to do easy. I feel all jumpy and jittery about it really, but I know it's right. (i'm not going to go into detail, but keep me in your prayers if you think about it.)

I had a wonderful opportunity to finally spend some much needed time with my momfriends. What a God-send these group of woman are. They love me and support in ways I wasn't even aware of. They cried with me today as I told them what I've been facing. It was very cathartic to be with people I could be completly open with and know they won't stand in judgement. I stopped pacing the floor, quit jittering my leg and took the time to just breath. That's when I realized I've been shivering for the past 3 days and carrying all kind of tension in my neck. As I sit here and type this I realize my neck and shoulders feel like a brick. I'm fighting to keep my composure. And one of the people I want to talk to, I can't. I have to learn obedience and patience. I know it's the right thing, but like I said yesterday it still stings.

This evening on the car ride home from having dinner with the mom's (THANK GOD that they didn't send me home in the state I was in and asked us to stay for dinner!!) this scripture came to my mind.
"And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children." Isaiah 54:13
Now I understand this a promise concerning our children, but I was reminded that I am somebody's child and a child of God. I remember my parents speaking this scripture over me when I was younger. So I prayed, "Lord, I thank you for this promise spoken over me long ago. I am your child, and I thank you for your peace."

I just feel like I need to rest in him a while. A change will do me good.