Reflecting

I can hardly believe how quickly this past school year has gone by! It seems like just yesterday that I was planning the year, and now we are down to only 19 days left of school. I have to say, it's been so much fun to school this way! It feels so much more relaxed. I no longer have the dread of bi-monthly conferences with a "teacher" that is merely a work sample collector. Truthfully, if we had not had that same teacher for both 3rd and 4th grade, I wonder if I would have ever pulled out of the cyber school. Our other years teacher was quite nice, (and a local gal). We still are in contact with her because she is the teacher to some of our friends' children that are in the cyber.

I thought it might be fun to put up a few pictures of some of the things we did this year. Unfortunatly my camera was on the fritz so I had to beg my friends to search through their pictures and send me a few. All of them have pictures of their children as well, so I don't feel comfortable posting them without permission.

I do have this shot, which shows one of mine pretending the life cycle of the butterfly. I'm not sure what stage this represents: I think it's the larvae.


What a fun year we've had. I'm already looking forward to next year!

Ignoring the Blog?

I think I am. I haven't written much since ....before Christmas maybe? I just don't think I've had it in me. I just havent' been able to think of anything to write. I think I've said it all.

Hallelujah!

He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
-Matthew 28:6

Going Off the Deep End

Have you ever watched a movie a hundred times, and on the hundred and first time you notice something you've never seen before? This winter one of my favorite all time heartbreak movies was on one of those lame cable channels. The "aha!" moment came at the end of the movie. (This is a loose quote)
"Some people say high school(childhood?) is supposed to be the best time of your life, I say it's something you try to live down for the rest of your life."

For me it's the later. That insecure girl is always just under the surface.

In general, I would say the majority of my school years were great. The one that has stuck with me, the one that I've tried to outrun, was my sophomore year. It was a year of opposites: spiritual awakening,running "wild",friends,boyfriends,dates in cars, lots of fun, tears, and depression. Sophomore year was the worst year of my entire young life, without exception or exaggeration! I can't go into all the details, but lets just say it was dark. The thought that I'm left with the most from those days is, "How can people be so mean?" I just don't understand how one can love out of one side of the mouth, and spew hatred out of the other. I don't understand how one can love today and hate tomorrow. How does one go from uplifting to trampling down?

It all came bubbling up to the surface again this week. I saw a glimpse, just a snapshot really, of someone from my former life. Immediately I felt angry and sick. It didn't take long for me to figure out why. It all boils down to forgiveness. Now forgiveness is not a new end of the pool for me. It's water I've been in many times before. Suddenly I'm back in the pool. What I find so "funny" though is that this is one of those areas that I've had to deal with time and time again. I have found it very difficult to forgive people for the actions of my last year in a public school. I think I have it licked and then bam! Time to jump in again. Each time I notice I dive down a little deeper. This time, maybe I've finally reached the bottom. Hopefully I will be able to finally forgive, and truly forget. Maybe I'll even find a new swimming hole.

Idol Rant 4.7

I haven't blogged about American Idol this year at all. Quite frankly, the show is so predictable to me-right down to the songs the contestants are choosing each week. I want to know if they are just really that unoriginal or if the pool of songs to choose from is just that limited. I wonder if it has something to do with getting permission the songs.

Also, for the record, I'm ready to just cut it down to 3 or 4 and let them duke it out the rest of the way. How 'bout you?

The night's theme was songs from the year you were born. It looked like they were going oldest to youngest, but then blew my theory out of the water when they had Allison go before Adam.

On with the recap. (I may get the order wrong....ooops.)

Danny Gokey sang a 1980 version of Stand by Me. I like this song. I like Danny. I could see him in the Christian contemporary field for sure. I like that he was a church choir director. What I don't like about him is that I feel like he is hurting his voice sometimes. I think he should be safe until next week.

Kris Allen did 1985's "All she wants to do is Dance." I hated this song the first time around. Really. I like him though. As much as I enjoy him, and think he's done some of the more original versions of songs, I don't think he's top 2 material. (I still don't like this song.)

Lil Rounds put the record straight. Her real name is Lil. Got that Simon? Okay. Good. On with her song choice. "What's Love Got to Do with It?" I don't know, Lil, what does it? 'Cause I didn't love this performance. I have to be straight when I say I think she has a great big ole voice. It's a very good voice, but she does often shout and rarely puts an original spin on anything. She's got a great voice, but I think she needs some time to find who she is, and just be. There are singers and then there are performers. Lil is a singer, and quite a good one, but for me, not top 2 material.

Anoop Desai was up with "True Colors." I love this song. I liked his rendition. I think he should be safe until next week. He needs to be more consistent and find his own groove. Over all I really have enjoyed his performances.

Scott MacIntyre. "The Search is Over." I like his personality. I like his heart. I like his piano skills. I don't like his voice. It's just not that strong. He's not vocally as gifted as the other contestants. He always picks something that makes me want to go to sleep. Let me repeat however, I like him as a person (at least what I see on tv.) Please America, get it right this week and send him home. Thank you.

Matt Giraud, "Part time Lover." I hate this song. I love him. I see that in past weeks he has tried to buck that R&B groove thing he has going on, but truly, I don't understand why. His runs are effortless. He glides between them and bends the notes so beautifully. For me he is the dark horse. He doesn't seem to get the ooohs and aaahs like Gokey and Lambert, but his voice is great.

Allison Araheta, the young 'un of this season sang "I can't Make You Love Me." Besides thinking this is an inappropriate song for someone so young, I enjoyed her. (I wonder how much she knows about laying down with someone and not patronizing them?) Wierd choice. I have liked her from week 1. I appreciate singers and especially ones that make a song their own. My only tiny critique would be that she adds "h's" before a lot of her words. "h-I can't h-make you love me, h-if you don't." Other than that I love her, and her voice.

Adam Lambert. "Mad World." Um. Adam. There is so much to say about him, I considered dedicating the whole post to him, since many people didn't get to see him. My DVR cut off, but I was able to rewind through another show and catch it.
I love the fact that Adam is original. He picks original songs and then twists them and makes them his own. (I like this even when I don't like the song, or the arrangement: see "Ring of Fire" and "Play that Funky Music") He always chooses songs that suit his personality. I like that. I love the fact that this boy can sing. I love the fact that he doesn't fit the typical Idol mold. I love the fact that he can sing...did I already mention that? What I don't like is the way he sings. I find it distracting that he sticks his tongue out so often (I hope other people notice that too) and I get a little tired of the same HUGE HIGH NOTES. Did I mention they were huge and that he sticks out his tongue when he sings them? I think he will be in the finals. He's talented. He's quirky, and I don't love every song he sings, but I always enjoy the fact that he does Adam. Finally an original on Idol.
BTW- If you would have asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said I hated him. The power HUGE high notes and tongue sticking out annoy me. His voice, and clear talent however have won me over.



In closing ( just like to sound official like that) I'd like to cut half of these people and just let Gokey, Giraud, Araheta, and Lambert duke it out for a while. That my friends would be some good entertainment.

________
Big ups to Boo Mama for letting me get my Rant on.

What a difference a day makes....

just twenty-four little hours....

I'm back to blogging in songs. I haven't done that for a while.

While I had trouble dragging myself out of bed today, I did wake up with a much better outlook. I don't feel so grumpy, so that's good. I'm ready to tackle the day with a better outlook. It's better to not let myself to get grumpy in the first place. It's fairly easy to avoid going there, but once I'm there, pretty difficult to just snap out of.

Happy Humpday!


P.S.
It's raining here today, which we needed since it's been fairly dry for spring. The rain makes me want to cuddle up and sleep. Ahhhhhhh....just thinking of my comforter and pillow....zzzzzzzzzzz. At least I don't feel grumpy. (I must keep reminding myself of that.)

Blech.

I've been having a bad coupla days. It's just me. Nothing else. Just feeling tired, lumpy, irritated at myself.

So far today I have accomplished: (maybe it will help if I can see it.)

a trip to the bank.

paying hubby's credit card bill online.

making a cup of tea.

waking the kids up almost an hour earlier.

putting a load of laundry into the washer. ( I never said I started it though.)

placing a call about theater tickets.

almost ordering checks. I've been down to 2 for a year now and down to 3 for 2 years and before that it was '06 since I regularly used my checkbook. wow. (online bill paying is great)

updating my facebook "thought of the day."

answering the return call for theater tickets.

paying for theater tickets.

typing exactly one blogpost.

There ya go. I guess my day hasn't been a complete waste. The girls are actually watching Sesame Streetish (except it's not 'cause Sesame Street is already over). I think they are also eating (11 year old is pretty good at just getting herself something if she's hungry. Sometimes I forget to eat lunch.) When they are done we'll start the school day. Yippee.

What I'm doing now

-Drinking a cup of tea (chai to be exact, I love this brand)

-Listening to the hum of the dryer and the tink-tink of a computer game (this is the newest sound, and the most annoying one)

-Smelling the delicious scent of chicken stock I had on low overnight and just turned off a boil. I'll strain it and freeze it for some delicious soup recipe.

-Thinking about the day ahead of me. Realizing that our homeschool year is quickly winding down. Hoping I've done enough of everything.

-Beating myself up for not being more healthy. Trying to forgive myself because I'm not. Promising myself to remember to take it one day at a time.

-Relishing in a gleaming clean home. Loving that it stayed clean until this morning. Feeling guilty for being happy that Hubs isn't home today to mess it up.

-Thinking about driving out to the farm for some milk. I know it's better for us than the store kind, but don't always feel like making the drive.

I've been a bad girl.

Last night I caved. I broke my "diet" and ate some cookies. I did it consciously and on purpose. I was angry with myself for not losing any weight and decided to just go ahead and eat a cookie (or two) since it's not like it was going to derail me. I'm quite irritated about the whole weighing down thing. So much so that I felt like having a good cry about it over the weekend. I didn't. I don't know if I feel better this morning or not. If I don't start losing weight soon, I may resign myself to being fat forever.

That's is all. Go enjoy a few cookies on my behalf.

Feasting on Manna

I have been finding myself thinking and meditating on the book of Romans lately. Most specifically Romans 8. That whole chapter really ministers to me.

Today's bread:
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-Romans 8:35,37-39