Isn't an enemy just like that?

A very nice blogger that I follow posted yesterday that she's been dealing with panic attacks. Now I've known me some fear and panic attacks and phobias. So I shared with her.

Mice.

Rats.

Just the word would throw me into a world of hurt (except Mickey...he didn't count). I used to also be fearful of other things. The dark. Boogy men. You know; the stuff of childhood. Sadly for me it lingered on well after the young child age. I was scared, and knew it was foolish, but dealt with fear anyway.

Thankfully, I've conquered those fears. The most recent triumph was my extreme phobia of rodents. But wouldn't you know, it's just like an enemy to try to throw that stuff back on me. Last night. At 5am. Out of left field.

I woke up with that familiar nervous feeling. Over what??? Life is going well. Things are fine. It was panic for panic's sake. So I prayed and eventually went back to sleep. But today? I've been on the verge of nervous all day. Oh, what a dirty rotten Stinker!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but he has given us a spirit of love, power and a sound mind."
-2 Tim. 1:7

Search Queries

I have to laugh at some of the ways people find my blog. Sometimes I know people are looking on purpose, other times it's because I've posted via a Mr. Linky or comment, sometimes they find their way over via google search.

You wanna know the most common google search query that directs people to my blog?

"Put my icy feet"

Isn't that a weird search? Even weirder is that they are directed here thanks to a post I put up last year. Go here to see what they find.

Posting

Does it annoy you when bloggers only post once every 7-10 days? I does me. My life means so little. Blogging is one of those things that helps me feel connected to the world.

Sorry if I've let anyone dangling for a for weeks. I took last week off. I needed the break. I think I was having not only a lapse in thinking interesting thoughts, but also having a bad self esteem week. It's easy to feel little and insignificant and very hard to not despise the day of small beginnings.

That is all for tonight. Oh, the wonders of this thing called the internet....

Sunday Singin'

I'll stand With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

On a break.

I took a break this week. I'll return to The Blog next week.

Miss me bunches!

Who am I?

I've been thinking these words for quite a few weeks. Self reflection seems to be my specialty. For the past few weeks the theme seems to be about The Blog.

Who am I? Why am I writing? What do I hope to achieve?

I am a mom. I have thoughts. I have sometimes very deep thoughts with no where to take them. Sometimes I have very frivolous thoughts with still no where to take them. Hubs works hours that should not be legal (and I'm not sure they really are.) Kids are too young and inappropriate dumping grounds. Mom-friends have busy lives full of their own husbands and kids. I guess it seems reasonable then that I blog.

But I struggle with something. The writing for me vs. the wanting to be popular. I see the "cool blogs" the "it blogs" the "now blogs" and cant' help wishing I were one of them. My site meter for last week recorded exactly 3 visits. Now I realize I posted very little. But still, 3???? Kind of makes the whole self esteem thing go swoosh! right down the ole crapper.

Then the part of me that blogs for me reminds me (like how I said that?) that hits don't matter. Scores of comments don't matter. Popularity does not matter. I write because I need to. I write because it's what I've always done when I need someone to really talk to.

Trusting those words to a more public forum though,...I think it's changed it all a little bit.

Suddenly I care if someone comments. I care if the site meter jumps. I care to be cool.

And cool, I am not.

I am so non-mainstream. Exactly when I became this...I can't exactly pinpoint. Maybe it just always was. To not follow the crowd. To be an individual. To do what I do because that's who I am.

That is me.

Popularity....not so much.

I tell myself that if someone is marked by the words I type, then, Great! but that isn't my reason for writing. Somehow though....I don't think I totally buy it.

Sunday Singin' Feb. 15

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!



Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Starting Over

Twelve years ago I embarked on a journey with an unknown destination. I was young and heading into deep waters. Little did I know that 12 years later, Hubs and I would have been through so many bumps and bruises nor could I have known that we would throw in the towel more than once.

Last year this time it was over. This year, it has started anew. Only the grace of God has brought me through. What I thought was dead was brought new life. It grows stronger everyday and I once again have hope for a bright tomorrow.

Thank you Lord, that in my seasons of faithlessness, you remain Faithful. Thank you Lord that you have never left me, nor forsaken me.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
-Jer. 29:11

Sunday Singin' Feb. 8

I'm Free

So long I had searched for life's meaning,
Enslaved y the world and my greed:
Then the door of the prison was opened by love,
For the ransom was paid_I was free.

I'm free from the fear of tomorrow,
I'm free from the guilt of the past:
For I've traded my shacles for a glorious song,
I'm Free! Praise the Lord! Free at last!

I'm free from the guilt that I carried,
From that dull empty life I'm set free:
For when I met Jesus, He made me comlet,
He forgot how foolish I used to be.

I'm Free from the fear of tomorrow,
I'm free from the guilt of the past:
For I've traded my shackles for a glorious song,
I'm Free! Praise the Lord! Free at last!

Good

I was just making a pass through stop to my blog before going to bed. Actually, I was trying to follow up on a comment I recieved the other day. I clicked over to the other blog and took a peek around. As I was just going about my business, I began to listen to the words of the song that plays when you first click to The Factory.

I didn't just hear it. I listened. And I'm reminded once more, that God is so good.

"I'm not alone, I'm not alone, You'll never leave me. You'll never leave me."

It struck such a chord. To know that He's near, even when my mind is preoccupied with something else. I have to say, I got a little misty.

Thank you Father, that you never leave me.

a potpourri of posts

Am I running out of things to say??? gasp. Perish the thought. It's actually quite a challenge to post everyday. Then there are some days when I can think of more than I can shake a stick at. Feast or famine.

The sun is shining today, which is a good thing. I missed it. I felt pretty tired and drained yesterday. I ended up sleeping for around 9 1/2 hours last night. Then I still had to drag myself out of bed. I must remember to get my brain out in the sun for a while today.

Lastly, I worked up a 2 week list of meals for lunch and dinner. If I have something to plan off of, it just makes it much easier. If I don't assign a day, I can just wake up and decide what we'll have as the day comes. I usually like to fill it all in a chart, but Hey! I'm walking on the wild side! Ha! I'm so lame.

Here's the List: More for me than for you.


Lunch
Omelets w/spinach&feta
mini-subs
grilled ham/cheese
veggie burgers
salad w/ salmon or tuna
pbj
quick mac&cheese
fishsticks (5yo request)
leftovers (the best lunch!!)

Dinner
lasagna soup
tacos
chicken enchilada
lemon pepper fish
pork chops, mac &cheese, stewed tomatoes
salmon
pot roast w/ carrots &potatoes
oven fried chicken breasts
roast chicken
german pizza
cheese tetrazinni
chicken and dumplings

Tippy Tuesday...aluminum foil.

I have stainless steel cookware. I love it and am not sorry I gave up the nonstick! Sometimes though, I do miss the convenience of just a quick wipe around the pan when it comes to clean up. If you have stainless steel too, then you know what I'm talking about.

I don't care how carefully you preheat the pan, or de-glaze, or keep your heat just right. It's inevitable that you will get a cruddy pan at some point.

Enter pot scratchers. I hate them. The nylon ones get goopy, steel wool rusts, stainless steel wool gets crud up inside it, and soap pads seem like a waste when I only need to clean a small pan. (not to mention they get that rusty smell too)

One day as I was staring at a pan and dreading getting out a soap pad, the idea struck me. Hadn't I seen somewhere to try aluminum foil? I had just bought a inexpensive roll and thought , "Why not."

I ripped a small section off, balled it up, and went to work. Wow! It actually did the job.

No more smelly soap pads or steel wool for me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more kitchen tips, head on over to Tammy's Recipes for Kitchen Tip Tuesday.

Sunday Singin'

Come Ye Disconsolate-Thomas Moore

Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish,
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate, light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”

Here see the Bread of Life, see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God, pure from above.
Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.