Of mixtapes and men

Did you have a mix tape when you were a kid? You know what i mean. A recording of all the songs you wanted to hear that went together. My first mix tape was given to me by my first boyfriend. It was 7th grade, back when love was innocent and the worse thing that could happen as a result of it was detention from a kiss on the cheek. What's funny is that boy and I dated for all of 7th grade and a lot of 8th. I don't even know what happened to him after that. He just kinda disappeared. Anyway, the mix tape was all the 'it'songs for a rock fan of the time. Sorry yall, but I don't remember many of the songs. I was not a rock chick. I was a hip-hopper from way back when it first came on the scene. We're talking Rappers Delight days. Anyway, a friend of my just disclosed that they had a mix tape way back when too. Theirs was one they listened to when they were sad. I had a "cry song" mix tape. That's literally what I labeled it. It was full of the stuff that made me feel weak in the knees and dreamy. It was a wonderful outlet at the time. If only life's problems could still be solved with a mix tape. I could pop it in, sing or cry along, and within 90 minutes be feeling brighter about life. If only life were still that simple. Now the balance of right and wrong weigh on my conscience and sometimes I fear the scale will tip too far one way in a moment and upset all the beautiful castles I've built for myself.